While you certainly did not want, and probably did not expect, to be laid off or between jobs, there are certain things that you can and should do now that you have the time. Not only will doing these things help you to present for your next career opportunity at your best, but there is the added bonus of helping you to feel better about yourself, thereby decreasing your levels of stress. The following are some examples of actions that should be taken during this period:
· USE THE TIME WISELY. Think about all the people, places, and things you may have neglected or overlooked in recent years, and use this time to reconnect with people and to tackle some of those projects. You will feel better for having done so, will feel a sense of connectedness which is important at this time when many are tempted to isolate themselves. This will also give you a sense of accomplishment whenever you complete a task. As an added benefit, you never know from where your next opportunity will come. One of those people you reconnect with may prove useful in helping you to determine next steps, to come up with contacts that you may not have thought of, or may have some great ideas or avenues for you to pursue or incorporate in your job search. You never know.
· WORK TOWARDS A NEW AND IMPROVED (AND MORE MARKETABLE) YOU. Take courses, learn new skills, update and hone old skills, in an effort to reevaluate what it is you want to do next (i.e., do you want to continue what you’ve been doing, or have you been secretly yearning, but putting off, doing something else). In the same way that the ABA Recession Recovery Teleconference series is offered free of charge, there have been numerous other offerings in recent months advertising free online courses aimed at helping people to produce better resumes and cover letters, state and local bar association programs designed to assist in assessing one’s marketability and putting together a career development plan, committees dealing with transition issues for lawyers, etc. Check out the ABA website, but also the websites of your state and local bar associations, as well as running a web search for webinars, and other free teleconferences and podcasts.
· KEEP TO A ROUTINE. No matter what, get up and do something aimed at helping you in your job search every day. At the end of every day, make a list or schedule of things to accomplish the next day, and tell someone what it is you intend to do. Somehow saying it aloud helps to give you a sense of accountability. You want to keep up a routine so you don’t feel as if you are aimlessly wandering from day to day, but instead have purpose.
· COMMIT IT TO PAPER. Identify and write down the largest sources of your stress. For many, this is financial. If this is the case, as an initial step, review the spending habits of yourself and your family and think of ways in which you can begin to cut costs. Once written, investigate ways in which to alleviate some of the financial stress and begin to look into them (i.e., with respect to mortgage issues, there are a number of repayment and other programs now available to assist in this effort, and a host of nonprofit entities ready to talk to you about them. With respect to credit card payments, some companies will entertain lowering your interest rates, so it’s worth it to call and ask. There are also reputable credit counseling companies out there to assist you.)
· EAT HEALTHY, EXERCISE MORE, AND LAUGH MUCH! It sounds basic, but it’s important to remember to take care of yourself. You need all your synapses firing at full throttle, and they won’t be able to if you aren’t getting enough rest or exercise, and are eating junk. It is especially important to avoid turning to self-destructive attempts at relieving stress, such as: drinking, drugging, gambling, smoking, and emotional eating, to name a few. Also, it’s been said that the mere act of laughing in and of itself has stress relieving properties. So, read a funny book, go to the movies and opt for a comedy, hang out with your friends who are the most upbeat and funny (and thus, less likely to bring you down).
Even with these coping mechanisms, you may still need professional help with getting through your stressful situation, which may seem overwhelming and all encompassing. THERE IS NO SHAME IN GETTING OR SEEKING HELP, SO PLEASE DO SEEK PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE WHEN SUCH STRESS, OR ISSUES SUCH AS ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, OR OTHER TROUBLING BEHAVIORS PERSIST. For assistance, please contact us at Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers, Inc. (31 Milk Street, Suite 810, Boston, MA , (617) 482-9600, email@lclma.org, or visit our website at http://www.lclma.org/). Help can also be accessed through your: healthcare provider; local hospital; psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, clinician or other mental health professional; or community healthcare center.See our web site Resource Page for a list of relevant stress resources.
Ms. Walcott presented this and other material in a program entitled, “Staying Positive in a Down Economy: Beyond The Group Hug” (June 30, 2009), which was part of the ABA’s Recession Recovery Teleconference Series. A download and course materials for this program are available online at http://www.abanet.org/cle/programs/nosearch/tspdmo.html.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Coping Mechanisms for Managing or Relieving Stress in the Wake, or in Fear, of Job Loss (4-Part Series) -- Part II: Shifting One's Perception
Losing a job, for whatever reason, is a life-altering event on many different levels –familial, professional, financial, behavioral, social (etc.) –and affects people in many different ways. For most, however, there are certain experiences that should be simply taken as givens:
1. There will be some degree of worry and/or stress.
2. There will be some level of interest in knowing who is (and is not) going through a similar experience.
3. There will be some people in your life who –for whatever reason –feel the need to constantly update you on how much worse things are than you thought. (I’ve lovingly dubbed these people naysayers, voices of doom, and town criers.)
4. There will be a point in time, however brief, when you experience self-doubt, lowered self-esteem and/or decreased self-confidence.
5. At some point, it will take more of an effort than usual to keep up the social and professional relationships you had when employed, and to continue in your professional extracurricular activities.
In moderation, all of these experiences are completely normal and to be expected given the circumstances (i.e., job loss). It is only when they get in the way of moving forward towards accomplishing your goals that it becomes a problem. The following are some examples of self-defeating actions which should be avoided at all costs:
· WORRYIN’ NEVER CHANGED ANYTHING, SO DON’T GET STUCK ON THE WORRY TRAIN. If you have a lot of free time with nothing to do, that also gives you a lot of time within which to stress or worry. Fretting, worrying, and being stressed or anxious are all normal. There’s nothing wrong with doing any of those things, for a time. Just don’t get stuck there – it’s self-defeating.
· STEER CLEAR OF NAYSAYERS, VOICES OF DOOM, & TOWN CRIERS. While there is certainly comfort in knowing that you are far from alone in this situation, be careful not to spend all of your time dwelling on the negative, as opposed to working towards a goal. Avoid those people who can’t seem to talk about anything other than the state of the economy, lawyer layoffs, unemployment, firm closings, decreases in available jobs, and the like. While I am in no way suggesting that you should avoid discussing what happened to you, I am cautioning against not being able to move beyond it. Also, there will always be those people who tell you all the reasons why you can’t do something, instead of supporting you in your efforts to make an attempt to accomplish your goal. Avoid such naysayers and surround yourself with supportive people.
· DON’T BECOME A SLAVE TO THE MEDIA. This serves no useful purpose other than to stress you out and keep you coming back for more. The media is more likely to give reports focused on the bleak, tragic, downtrodden, and hopeless (from its skewed perspective), than the positive, successful, hopeful, and victorious. That’s just the way it is. While you should absolutely keep abreast of what’s going on around you and what opportunities may lay out there for you, you can accomplish this by quickly skimming your media outlets for this information.
· ACCEPT THE SITUATION, BUT DON’T BE LABELED BY IT. It goes without saying that being unemployed is quite a humbling experience. Use it as a life lesson –absolutely –and if you come out wiser and stronger for it, then you have come out the victor. However, remember that being laid off doesn’t define who you are, or what you’re about. Indeed, it is no reflection whatsoever of your value. Nor is it an indictment of your worth. It’s merely a temporary place called unemployment, which you’ll soon depart.
· DON’T BE M.I.A. Very important: Make sure people know where you are and how to contact you! Often people give their work addresses to bar associations and others as their preferred contact method. After leaving a place of employment, however, they forget to update the bar associations with their new contact information, so they no longer receive notifications of any relevant and/or free course, program, and other bar association offerings. You don’t want to stop getting this information –stay connected. Be sure to also update your alumni offices (law school, college) of your whereabouts because some of them are offering programs as well.
Even with these coping mechanisms, you may still need professional help with getting through your stressful situation, which may seem overwhelming and all encompassing. THERE IS NO SHAME IN GETTING OR SEEKING HELP, SO PLEASE DO SEEK PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE WHEN SUCH STRESS, OR ISSUES SUCH AS ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, OR OTHER TROUBLING BEHAVIORS PERSIST. For assistance, please contact us at Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers, Inc. (31 Milk Street, Suite 810, Boston, MA , (617) 482-9600, email@lclma.org, or visit our website at http://www.lclma.org/). Help can also be accessed through your: healthcare provider; local hospital; psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, clinician or other mental health professional; or community healthcare center.See our web site Resource Page for a list of relevant stress resources.
Ms. Walcott presented this and other material in a program entitled, “Staying Positive in a Down Economy: Beyond The Group Hug” (June 30, 2009), which was part of the ABA’s Recession Recovery Teleconference Series. A download and course materials for this program are available online at http://www.abanet.org/cle/programs/nosearch/tspdmo.html.
1. There will be some degree of worry and/or stress.
2. There will be some level of interest in knowing who is (and is not) going through a similar experience.
3. There will be some people in your life who –for whatever reason –feel the need to constantly update you on how much worse things are than you thought. (I’ve lovingly dubbed these people naysayers, voices of doom, and town criers.)
4. There will be a point in time, however brief, when you experience self-doubt, lowered self-esteem and/or decreased self-confidence.
5. At some point, it will take more of an effort than usual to keep up the social and professional relationships you had when employed, and to continue in your professional extracurricular activities.
In moderation, all of these experiences are completely normal and to be expected given the circumstances (i.e., job loss). It is only when they get in the way of moving forward towards accomplishing your goals that it becomes a problem. The following are some examples of self-defeating actions which should be avoided at all costs:
· WORRYIN’ NEVER CHANGED ANYTHING, SO DON’T GET STUCK ON THE WORRY TRAIN. If you have a lot of free time with nothing to do, that also gives you a lot of time within which to stress or worry. Fretting, worrying, and being stressed or anxious are all normal. There’s nothing wrong with doing any of those things, for a time. Just don’t get stuck there – it’s self-defeating.
· STEER CLEAR OF NAYSAYERS, VOICES OF DOOM, & TOWN CRIERS. While there is certainly comfort in knowing that you are far from alone in this situation, be careful not to spend all of your time dwelling on the negative, as opposed to working towards a goal. Avoid those people who can’t seem to talk about anything other than the state of the economy, lawyer layoffs, unemployment, firm closings, decreases in available jobs, and the like. While I am in no way suggesting that you should avoid discussing what happened to you, I am cautioning against not being able to move beyond it. Also, there will always be those people who tell you all the reasons why you can’t do something, instead of supporting you in your efforts to make an attempt to accomplish your goal. Avoid such naysayers and surround yourself with supportive people.
· DON’T BECOME A SLAVE TO THE MEDIA. This serves no useful purpose other than to stress you out and keep you coming back for more. The media is more likely to give reports focused on the bleak, tragic, downtrodden, and hopeless (from its skewed perspective), than the positive, successful, hopeful, and victorious. That’s just the way it is. While you should absolutely keep abreast of what’s going on around you and what opportunities may lay out there for you, you can accomplish this by quickly skimming your media outlets for this information.
· ACCEPT THE SITUATION, BUT DON’T BE LABELED BY IT. It goes without saying that being unemployed is quite a humbling experience. Use it as a life lesson –absolutely –and if you come out wiser and stronger for it, then you have come out the victor. However, remember that being laid off doesn’t define who you are, or what you’re about. Indeed, it is no reflection whatsoever of your value. Nor is it an indictment of your worth. It’s merely a temporary place called unemployment, which you’ll soon depart.
· DON’T BE M.I.A. Very important: Make sure people know where you are and how to contact you! Often people give their work addresses to bar associations and others as their preferred contact method. After leaving a place of employment, however, they forget to update the bar associations with their new contact information, so they no longer receive notifications of any relevant and/or free course, program, and other bar association offerings. You don’t want to stop getting this information –stay connected. Be sure to also update your alumni offices (law school, college) of your whereabouts because some of them are offering programs as well.
Even with these coping mechanisms, you may still need professional help with getting through your stressful situation, which may seem overwhelming and all encompassing. THERE IS NO SHAME IN GETTING OR SEEKING HELP, SO PLEASE DO SEEK PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE WHEN SUCH STRESS, OR ISSUES SUCH AS ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, OR OTHER TROUBLING BEHAVIORS PERSIST. For assistance, please contact us at Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers, Inc. (31 Milk Street, Suite 810, Boston, MA , (617) 482-9600, email@lclma.org, or visit our website at http://www.lclma.org/). Help can also be accessed through your: healthcare provider; local hospital; psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, clinician or other mental health professional; or community healthcare center.See our web site Resource Page for a list of relevant stress resources.
Ms. Walcott presented this and other material in a program entitled, “Staying Positive in a Down Economy: Beyond The Group Hug” (June 30, 2009), which was part of the ABA’s Recession Recovery Teleconference Series. A download and course materials for this program are available online at http://www.abanet.org/cle/programs/nosearch/tspdmo.html.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Coping Mechanisms for Managing or Relieving Stress in the Wake, or in Fear, of Job Loss (4-Part Series) -- Part I: Shifting One's Perception
Almost everyone has a friend or family member who is contending with a layoff, between jobs, or who fears the same may be in their future. There is cold comfort in knowing that one is in the good company of others who share a similar fate, not by virtue of personal or professional shortcomings, but by an economy that has failed them. Even so, such a life-altering event can affect all dimensions of one’s life: finances, for sure, but also family and social relationships, self-esteem and self-confidence, energy, thought processes, and daily routines formerly structured and organized by work schedules. Losing a job, or delayed success in finding a job, is no small thing.
While stress in moderate amounts, or when adequately managed, provides motivation and drive, that is not the case when the stress is in excess. Stress has been described in the simplest of terms as resulting from the way in which one interprets and reacts to events. Accordingly, a person who changes her perception of a situation in a positive direction should, in turn, experience a decrease in stress. The following are suggestions for assisting in this perception shift, and ultimately for managing and relieving stress:
· THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Chances are you’ve been through worse times, and survived darker periods in your life, so keep it all in perspective. Reflect on some of those periods when you thought you just couldn’t make it through, and recall that in spite of everything, you did. You’re a survivor! The ability to cope or deal with adversity is not new to you. You’ve coped and adapted before in a myriad of situations, whether involving yourself or others –including clients! What would you do and advise if a client came to you with this situation? What would you say? It’s important to remember that transitions in whatever form are a natural part of our lifecycle, requiring adaptability and often, the ability to reinvent oneself. Some examples of life events triggering some form of reinvention include: becoming a new parent, divorce, dealing with a major illness (yours or that of someone close to you), having your child go off to college for the first time (empty nest syndrome), relocating to a new country/state/city/town, etc. No matter your situation, remember that things could always be a lot worse.
· CELEBRATE YOU! Reflect on all of your past accomplishments and significant experiences and milestones. Make a list of the things of which you are most proud and grateful. (i.e., birth of a child, wedding day, trial victory, high praise or compliments from colleagues on your delivery of a masterful argument, 1st time finishing a 5K race, watching your child take his/her first steps, the first time you hear your child say “dada” or “mama,” finally reaching the mountain top during a long and arduous climb, losing that final 5 pounds, graduating from college and law school, passing the bar exam, etc.). This should help to put things in perspective and remind you of just how great you are and how much you’ve achieved. Also, it will help you to remember that in the large scheme of things, this is but a blip on the radar. Whenever you feel yourself heading back towards the worry train, remember this list.
· FLIP THE SCRIPT! Rather than think of this as the worst thing that could have ever happened to you, flip the script and look at it as an incredible opportunity. Use the time to reevaluate where you are, both professionally and personally. In terms of the professional, are you doing what it is you really want to do? Too often, we become complacent in our day-to-day lives and forget about some of our dreams and goals. This is a perfect opportunity for you to reexamine your priorities and to take stock of where you are, and where you‘d like to be.
· THINK BABY STEPS OR SMALL, ACHIEVABLE GOALS –NOT LEAPS AND BOUNDS. When trying to lose weight, it is usually ill-advised to think in terms of how much you wish to lose all at once (i.e., 100 pounds). Instead, if you break down how much you want to lose into smaller, incremental portions (i.e., 10- or 20-pound increments), and then tackle it piece by piece, it’s much less daunting. This also allows you to enjoy periods of achievement throughout and it prevents you from having to wait a long time to celebrate an accomplishment. The same should be true of finding your next employment opportunity. If you break it up into small achievable goals, then it allows you to maintain momentum.
· BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. Try to remember that we, as a profession and as a nation, have weathered storms just like this one in the past, and we always get through it, just like we will this time. Nothing lasts forever –not even the current state of affairs.
Even with these coping mechanisms, you may still need professional help with getting through your stressful situation, which may seem overwhelming and all encompassing. THERE IS NO SHAME IN GETTING OR SEEKING HELP, SO PLEASE DO SEEK PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE WHEN SUCH STRESS, OR ISSUES SUCH AS ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, OR OTHER TROUBLING BEHAVIORS PERSIST. For assistance, please contact us at Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers, Inc. (31 Milk Street, Suite 810, Boston, MA , (617) 482-9600, email@lclma.org, or visit our website at http://www.lclma.org/). Help can also be accessed through your: healthcare provider; local hospital; psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, clinician or other mental health professional; or community healthcare center.
See our web site Resource Page for a list of relevant stress resources.
Ms. Walcott presented this and other material in a program entitled, “Staying Positive in a Down Economy: Beyond The Group Hug” (June 30, 2009), which was part of the ABA’s Recession Recovery Teleconference Series. A download and course materials for this program are available online at http://www.abanet.org/cle/programs/nosearch/tspdmo.html.
While stress in moderate amounts, or when adequately managed, provides motivation and drive, that is not the case when the stress is in excess. Stress has been described in the simplest of terms as resulting from the way in which one interprets and reacts to events. Accordingly, a person who changes her perception of a situation in a positive direction should, in turn, experience a decrease in stress. The following are suggestions for assisting in this perception shift, and ultimately for managing and relieving stress:
· THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Chances are you’ve been through worse times, and survived darker periods in your life, so keep it all in perspective. Reflect on some of those periods when you thought you just couldn’t make it through, and recall that in spite of everything, you did. You’re a survivor! The ability to cope or deal with adversity is not new to you. You’ve coped and adapted before in a myriad of situations, whether involving yourself or others –including clients! What would you do and advise if a client came to you with this situation? What would you say? It’s important to remember that transitions in whatever form are a natural part of our lifecycle, requiring adaptability and often, the ability to reinvent oneself. Some examples of life events triggering some form of reinvention include: becoming a new parent, divorce, dealing with a major illness (yours or that of someone close to you), having your child go off to college for the first time (empty nest syndrome), relocating to a new country/state/city/town, etc. No matter your situation, remember that things could always be a lot worse.
· CELEBRATE YOU! Reflect on all of your past accomplishments and significant experiences and milestones. Make a list of the things of which you are most proud and grateful. (i.e., birth of a child, wedding day, trial victory, high praise or compliments from colleagues on your delivery of a masterful argument, 1st time finishing a 5K race, watching your child take his/her first steps, the first time you hear your child say “dada” or “mama,” finally reaching the mountain top during a long and arduous climb, losing that final 5 pounds, graduating from college and law school, passing the bar exam, etc.). This should help to put things in perspective and remind you of just how great you are and how much you’ve achieved. Also, it will help you to remember that in the large scheme of things, this is but a blip on the radar. Whenever you feel yourself heading back towards the worry train, remember this list.
· FLIP THE SCRIPT! Rather than think of this as the worst thing that could have ever happened to you, flip the script and look at it as an incredible opportunity. Use the time to reevaluate where you are, both professionally and personally. In terms of the professional, are you doing what it is you really want to do? Too often, we become complacent in our day-to-day lives and forget about some of our dreams and goals. This is a perfect opportunity for you to reexamine your priorities and to take stock of where you are, and where you‘d like to be.
· THINK BABY STEPS OR SMALL, ACHIEVABLE GOALS –NOT LEAPS AND BOUNDS. When trying to lose weight, it is usually ill-advised to think in terms of how much you wish to lose all at once (i.e., 100 pounds). Instead, if you break down how much you want to lose into smaller, incremental portions (i.e., 10- or 20-pound increments), and then tackle it piece by piece, it’s much less daunting. This also allows you to enjoy periods of achievement throughout and it prevents you from having to wait a long time to celebrate an accomplishment. The same should be true of finding your next employment opportunity. If you break it up into small achievable goals, then it allows you to maintain momentum.
· BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. Try to remember that we, as a profession and as a nation, have weathered storms just like this one in the past, and we always get through it, just like we will this time. Nothing lasts forever –not even the current state of affairs.
Even with these coping mechanisms, you may still need professional help with getting through your stressful situation, which may seem overwhelming and all encompassing. THERE IS NO SHAME IN GETTING OR SEEKING HELP, SO PLEASE DO SEEK PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE WHEN SUCH STRESS, OR ISSUES SUCH AS ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, OR OTHER TROUBLING BEHAVIORS PERSIST. For assistance, please contact us at Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers, Inc. (31 Milk Street, Suite 810, Boston, MA , (617) 482-9600, email@lclma.org, or visit our website at http://www.lclma.org/). Help can also be accessed through your: healthcare provider; local hospital; psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, clinician or other mental health professional; or community healthcare center.
See our web site Resource Page for a list of relevant stress resources.
Ms. Walcott presented this and other material in a program entitled, “Staying Positive in a Down Economy: Beyond The Group Hug” (June 30, 2009), which was part of the ABA’s Recession Recovery Teleconference Series. A download and course materials for this program are available online at http://www.abanet.org/cle/programs/nosearch/tspdmo.html.
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